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Parents of neurodivergent learners

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The Realities of Parenting a Neurodivergent Child

Let’s talk honestly for a moment—being the parent of a neurodivergent child is one of the most rewarding roles you’ll ever have, but it’s also one of the most demanding. And that’s okay to say out loud. In fact, it needs to be said more often.

Understanding the Language of Special Education


One of the earliest hurdles parents often face is the language. Suddenly, you’re thrown into meetings where terms like “IEP,” “504 Plan,” “FAPE,” and “LRE” are tossed around like everyday vocabulary. You hear someone say, “We’ll need to revisit their IEP goals and ensure the accommodations align with their present levels of performance,” and you’re left trying to nod like you understand, while internally Googling everything as soon as the meeting ends.


It can feel like you need a degree in education policy just to advocate for your child.


• IEP (Individualized Education Program): A legal document developed for a child with a disability outlining their learning needs, goals, and the services the school will provide.


• Accommodations vs. Modifications: Accommodations support how your child learns (like extra test time), while modifications change what your child is expected to learn.


• Titles of People in the Room: You might be meeting with the school psychologist, special education case manager, occupational therapist, general ed teacher, and more—each with their own jargon and acronyms.


It’s okay if you don’t understand it all right away. Most parents don’t. You’re not failing. You’re learning while navigating it in real time—and that’s a heroic act in itself.

The Balancing Act No One Prepares You For


Let’s talk about the invisible load. Because yes, you’re the parent—but you’re also the executive assistant, homework supervisor, special education translator, emotional regulator, and advocate. And you still have to make dinner, fold laundry, keep the lights on, and maybe—just maybe—show up to work like you’ve slept.


How are you supposed to:


• Attend multiple IEP meetings per year (each requiring preparation and emotional bandwidth)?


• Sit for hours with your child to work through homework they don’t understand (and maybe you don’t either)?


• Email teachers to follow up on missing assignments or accommodations that aren’t being implemented?


• Make sure the house is livable, meals are cooked, and you’re still functioning at your job?



The truth is: you can’t do it all at once. And that’s not a personal failure. That’s a systemic issue.



You’re Not Alone—And There Are Ways to Lighten the Load


• Tag in help where you can. A therapist, tutor, mentor, or even a neighbor who “gets it” can help shoulder the weight.


• Ask for simplified language at school meetings. It is absolutely okay to pause and say, “Can you explain what that means in plain language?”


• Build micro-routines. Maybe dinner isn’t from scratch—maybe it’s frozen lasagna and paper plates on IEP week. That’s still showing up.


• Keep a “good enough” list. You don’t need perfect. You need sustainable. If the homework didn’t get finished but your child went to bed feeling safe and loved—that counts.



A Final Word: Grace


Parenting a neurodivergent child is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days, you’ll feel strong and clear-headed. Other days, you’ll wonder how you’re supposed to keep going. Give yourself the same grace and flexibility you work so hard to give your child.


If no one’s told you today: You’re doing an incredible job in incredibly challenging circumstances.


We see you.


Want to keep this conversation going or connect with other parents who get it? Just say the word.



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There is an interesting article in USA Today regarding the current challenges of IEPs. This speaks of the ongoing challenges for parents and students navigating the system.

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